Friend: So embarassing. Yesterday I went to shit, and there was someone in the next stall already. His backpack and jacket were in the corner of the stall. Anyway, I sat in the next stall to poo. First I farted. Then it was like, splash splash splash splash. Pause. Splash splash. Then I wiped and flushed.
Me: You splashed his jacket??
Friend: No, I didn’t. That would have been gross. Well anyway, as I was washing my hands the guy came out of the next stall. I did not look up at him. Dried my hands and left. But I suspect it was our new intern. I saw his backpack again outside my office. Embarrassing. When I tell him to do an office task all he’s going to hear are my splashes.